she was so not down for the gang bang
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
