It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
