I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
