respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
