i already hear my dad disowning me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
