I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
only if we run a train.
done.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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