I'm drive I can fine osifer
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
