Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
wow bdsm is so cute
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