It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize