Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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