for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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