i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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