I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This house was built for laser tag.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
