Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
