Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
