There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize