Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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