Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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