I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
