But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
