don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i came on her dog
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Randomize
