I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
