I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
