So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
