Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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