I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize