and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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