Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The maid of honor just puked.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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