peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
accomplished twins. life is a go
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
