The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
