The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
