Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
