Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
