Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
