I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
