is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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