no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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