so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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