Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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