I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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