i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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