It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
