I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
