Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages