Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."