Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing