no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???