I have demons in me.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
