She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
