She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
