But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
