Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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