me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
