My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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