we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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