He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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