Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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