roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
