got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
