no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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