I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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