see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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