We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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