it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
