girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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