Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
